


soul brother

by e_is_better_than_a



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 17:09:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20510552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/e_is_better_than_a/pseuds/e_is_better_than_a
Summary: freddie has a surprise for a really sad brian.





	soul brother

Making music was fun. Making music with your best mates was even better. But getting John Deacon’s icy glare every other time you open your mouth was gut-wrenching. In all his years with  _ Queen, _ Brian had never felt like more of a nuisance in the studio then he did right now, making Hot Space. So he stopped showing up, coming in every other day, hoping he was aligning his schedule with his youngest bandmates not-glaring schedule. It worked about once a week. And on the days that he didn’t want to die from John’s gaze, he really only spoke when spoken to which was a sharp contrast to the beginning of recording when he spoke freely about what he felt about the sound. 

But everything was weighing on him in a way that it hadn’t in years. He truly felt like he was just there to play a chord. He felt detached, like everything he knew was ending, right in front of his eyes and he couldn’t bear the sight but couldn’t look away or close his eyes. Brian watched as Freddie came in later and later, face lighting up and teasing Brian when he realized that the “guitarist  _ finally showed!”. _ He watched John become more and more tired, snapping more than usual but always apologizing to everyone but himself. He watched Roger tense every time he walked into the studio, as if preparing to break up a fistfight. And Paul was still around and it just boiled his blood to know that he could touch and feel up his one of his best friends. 

But Freddie wasn’t just his best friend. Brian was truly in love with him. He had learned so much about the older man when they wrote songs together, divulging their deepest fears and dreaming about their greatest hopes. When Freddie introduced Mary to them, he realized that he had to find some girl and marry her. Give her kids, the best life he could, and try to fall in love with her along the way. It half worked. He loved Chrissy and his kids, but he was  _ in love _ with Freddie. And watching him get lost in drugs and sex was breaking his heart, piece by piece. Watching  _ Prenter _ lead him down that path was revolting.

There was only a month left of recording and Brian had never been happier to see the end of an album more. But Freddie still had one more spot on the album to fill and it was worrying the guitarist a little. Freddie was almost always the first to fill up spots, making them as wonderful as he could with all the time he could. He hadn’t heard a peep about Fred writing more or a demo or anything. Or maybe Brian was just exaggerating because he wanted the album over with, he thought as he watched John pack up for the day. Usually, Brian would have already been long gone but Freddie had asked him to stay a little later so he complied.

“Brimi,” He heard a soft voice say. It wasn’t Freddie’s; he was in the booth and Roger had left to call his kids already so that meant…

“Thank you for not arguing today,” John said, standing at the door but giving Brian a small smile. “It really means a lot. Will you be here tomorrow?”

Brian forced a smile and shook his head. “Haven’t you noticed my pattern Deaks?” He replied, trying his best to keep his tone light. The older man saw his grin falter but John nodded.

“Right,” The bassist said softly. “I’ll see you later then.” And with those words he left, leaving Freddie and him alone, aside from Prenter who was ghosting about.

Brian just sat, thinking about John’s reaction.  _ Did he really have so little of an impact that John wasn’t even noticing that he was gone? Could John not see that his spark was dimming every time he bit his tongue? _

His thoughts were interrupted by Freddie poking his head into the control room. “Oh, Paul, you can leave now,” He said, dismissing him and turning to Brian before his assistant could resist. “I have this song and I think it could use your touch!” The singer scurried back over to the piano and Brian followed while Prenter glared at him and left.  _ One more glare and I might die _ , he thought as he sat on the edge of the piano bench that Freddie was eagerly patting.

“I know that this album hasn’t been much fun for you, dear, and I know that you haven’t been feeling…” He trailed, fingers hitting chords quietly. “Well, quite like yourself. So I wanted to give you something to remind you that we’re still rock and roll, we’re just branching out, reaching more people, seeing what we can do,” For the first time in weeks, a genuine smile crawled its way onto his lips. Also for the first time in weeks, Freddie was  _ rambling. _ He used to do that all the time in the early days, but hardly ever now. Yet here he was, words tumbling out of his mouth while his fingers danced slowly on the piano keys.

“Do you want to hear it?” He finished, shifting his body to be more open towards Brian. His eyes were hopeful and the sight made the younger’s heart melt.

Brian nodded and Freddie began playing. As the song went on, the guitarist got tearier and tearier. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought it was rather romantic. He watched Freddie end the song and look hesitantly at the other.

“I tried to put as much of you in there as I-” Brian cut him off, pressing his lips to Freddie’s as gently as possible. The voice in the back of Brian’s head screamed that he had just ruined one of the best things that ever happened to him, but promptly shut up when the singer cupped the back of his neck and turned his head to deepen their kiss.

When they parted, Brian still had tears in his eyes. Freddie cooed and nosed his cheek, pressing light kisses all around his face.

“Freddie, you don’t have to play along,” Brian mumbled, shifting away from his friend and rubbing his eyes roughly to get rid of his tears. His brain screamed at him, realizing that Freddie, the kindest soul he had ever encountered, was just trying to make Brian feel better by displaying this affection. A new wave of tears found its way to his eyes, the familiar sinking feeling settling in again.

The singer looked appalled. A frown pulled his beautiful features down. He reached out but quickly took it back when Brian flinched away.

“Brimi,” The guitarist flinched at the nickname, tears almost spilling over. “What do you mean ‘play along?” His voice was gentle and he placed a warm hand over his cheeks. Brian tried not to press into them but also didn’t pull away; he just tensed and kept his eyes closed.

“Freddie, I’ve wanted this for so long,” His voice cracked in the silence. He didn’t know what else to say.  _ I’ll leave the band so you, John, and Roger can make whatever music you want. I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole this entire time. _

_ I love you. _

“Darling so have I,” His voice was desperate but Brian just shook his head, refusing to believe that. “Brian May, why didn’t you tell me sooner? We could’ve avoided this mess and just been happy,” Brian’s breath caught in his throat, opening his eyes again, seeing a distressed Freddie. 

“I thought you were going to hate me.” The guitarist’s voice seemed small and he just wanted to fold in on himself.

“Nothing you could ever do could make me hate you.”

Then Brian sobbed. He collapsed into the waiting arms of the older man and cried. Time stood still while Freddie soothed him, rubbing his back and humming a slower version of ‘39. Once he had calmed down enough, he gave a watery smile to his friend, receiving a grin in return. The singer leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to Brian’s bitten-red lips.

“Did you like the song?” He asked.

The question made the younger man laugh, nuzzling deeper into his chest. “Of course, Fred. I loved it.”

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is dusty-drabbles!


End file.
